katerinaroy

I am Katerina Edwards Roy, affectionately known as Angel Eyes.

I am a survivor. I am a believer. I am an encourager.
A champion of the childlike spirit. I am a follower of Jesus Christ.
An artist. A poet. A songbird. A dancer. A vessel of divine love.

And this is my story:

Growing up, my mother often told me the story of myself as a 2-week old infant… of when she was at church during the holy communion and how I had once turned my little body, sat up and reached my arms out and excitedly grasped at something she couldn’t see, but felt was the presence of Jesus. She always would underline that this was no small feat for a 2-week old child and that this was the one singular time I behaved that way as a baby… and that I proceeded to come back to rest in her arms, and develop at a normal rate after that. That experience was a confirmation for her in her own questioning of God, and the timing was so perfect it gave her quite the startle. It was then at two weeks old, my mother gave me the nickname of Angel Eyes. To this day, she retells the story with great enthusiasm and joy.

I was her first child born in faith, as she was told she couldn’t have children, for her lining was too thin. I was her miracle baby. I grew up loving Jesus and God and being so happy at church and even at one point wanted to be a nun (I lopped my hair off with crayons scissors and wore a black skirt on my head for a year so I could sit with the nuns and be like them). I would spend a lot of time drawing, dancing, singing, and creating… feeling loved and connected.

That feeling of safety and security in God changed when I was 6. My family system was shaken by tragedy – sexual abuse infiltrated my family and my childlike faith was shaken. I couldn’t understand why God would let something so terrible happen to us. The fallout from the abuse lasted for many years, and my siblings and I were very affected by trauma. I suffered much pain through my childhood years as a result.

With depression and darkness snapping at my feet, I began seeking answers again as a young teenager. I read self-help books. I sought wisdom and understanding through all the chaos and pain. I listened to wisdom from my deeply spiritual mother. I sought the deep love that I felt as a child, though it felt like a fantasy while I dealt with the harsh realities of abuse and trauma that were present amongst my complicated family relationships. Jesus and God showed up in darkest places, and my mother’s faith continually showed me that they are real and true… though I had been having a hard time trusting God after all the pain I had experienced.

The pain soaked deep. My teenage years were a mixture of depression, chronic illness, and repeated heartbreak. I felt like I was getting further and further from the reality that I knew before: that I was loved, valued, and cherished. I accepted poor treatment from friends, boyfriends, and put up with a lot of junk due to this spiritual amnesia. My perception and vision were clouded with anger at God, self-hate, and deep frustration. I acted in abusive ways towards myself, including developing body dysmorphia & eating disorder. My heart was aching and I needed God’s love more than ever.

My chronic illness worsened and I became bedridden at age 18. During this time, I began a dismantling process of letting go of my shame, questioning the thoughts that plagued my mind and created so much anxiety. I began seeking truth in earnest because I was drowning in the lies that were making my heart and body sick. I journaled and communicated with God extensively. I painted. I drew. I envisioned a better future than the prognosis I was getting from the doctors. I fixed my heart and my eyes on a total mind body spirit healing. And I became deeply determined to not just survive, but to thrive.

One of the fascinating experiences I had that really spoke to my Angel Eyes name was during that year I had first gotten so sick… I had a severe reaction to the drugs I was prescribed for the severe body pain I had, and landed myself in the hospital and didn’t remember a whole week of my life afterward. My mother’s priest thought it would be best for me to recover at the nun’s retreat house to keep me away from the conflicts at home while in a fragile state.

The first night I was there, I was angry that I was still alive. I hoped that I would die so I could escape the pain of living in my body. I cried out while looking at the painting of Jesus on the wall and said “If you are real, SHOW ME!” and fell asleep crying.

The next morning I woke up in the most wondrous of ways. I opened my eyes and as I rubbed my eyes I saw a band of color around my hand. I got up and looked in the mirror and saw a band of turquoise blue color all around me. Amazed, and stunned… I looked out the window and saw orbs of light dancing around the sky above the yard, with three purple figures of light standing on the grass. Completely shocked, I walked out of the retreat room and wandered down the hallway and looked at the people passing me by. Colors. So many colors. Green. Red. Blue. Black. White. In the same bands like I saw around myself. I knew these are called auras, but I couldn’t believe I was seeing them with my ordinary sight. I saw flashes of light that appeared in the auras of people who were about to speak. I saw auras changing color with people’s moods.

And the wildest part is that my vision stayed like this for 6 months. It wasn’t a fluke. It was an answer to prayer, in a way that I would recognize and believe the realness of God. I had my eyes checked and even got a $4,000 brain scan to make sure I hadn’t completely lost my sanity. It was a true miracle that gave me the proof I needed to begin my journey of surrendering my deep pain to God and asking him to come into my life and help me heal.

These eyes have seen much. Heavenly sights, and deeply human tragedies. Life continues to be a series of challenges, but faith in the unseen has continued to see me through. I still experience the miraculous regularly, on seemingly mundane levels and extraordinary levels. I have experienced so much healing in all ways: in my health, my relationships, communally, spiritually, creatively, sexually, in my self-esteem and confidence, and with the deep traumas of my past. My heart continues this faith journey of trusting Jesus and God to guide my steps and to be the grace and security I need as I walk out this life in this wild & beautiful world.

If you want to see some of my older works, I technically already have a deviantART Profile that I created years ago, but have since lost the login information to it:

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A HIGH QUALITY ARTIST, WHO DOES HIGH QUALITY WORK. And takes it very seriously.



If you want regular prints in the usual way, I intend on using deviantART's print service for that sort of thing. Beyond that, the print service that I personally offer -- is high quality art, in high quality print on high quality canvas. So yes, literally "printing a painting" just like the one you see me standing next to here. Of course, you can order them in much smaller sizes if you'd like. They do not have to be that large.

Commissions may be paid in deviantART Points or Cash, seeing as both of those are directly exchangeable from one into the other.

Though I am not opposed to doing art requests for free, art trades and things of this nature -- please be advised that because I do art for a living and time is money and money keeps the bills paid -- I do prioritize my time more towards paid commissions than free stuff. I'm sure any of you who enjoys not being homeless, can appreciate my position.

If you wish to help me keep a roof over my head without paying me a cent, then you may feel free to subscribe to my YouTube Channel. Simply watching my videos for free, will help you to support my work, for which I thank you

If you live in Hawaii and you enjoy art and you wouldn't mind hanging out and having some fun with my husband and I -- then drop me a line and we'll hang out! We may even teach you how to make some fudge! Seriously, no joke.

SPEAKING OF HUSBANDS --

If you are one of those guys here on deviantART who seem to be enamored with my feet, my legs, my boobs, my angel eyes or any other part or parts or aspects of me -- I deeply appreciate your admiration, but have no desire to do any sort of SEXTING with you. So if you decide to drop me a note, please make sure you don't say anything you wouldn't say to someone else's wife, standing in front of her in person, with her husband standing right next to her. Thanks!

DERIVATIVE WORKS

Imitation is the highest form of flattery and I'm not going to be a nazi about it. However, my copyright being what it is -- there are some very simple rules to follow when it comes to using any aspects of my art within any derivative work. Firstly, non-commercial works only are allowed. If you wish to use any of my stuff commercially, please drop me a note about it and we'll talk deals and see where it goes.

You are not permitted to misrepresent me or my art in any way, shape or form. I am the singular judge of what is considered as misrepresenting me or not. If you use any of my art in a derivative work, please notify me immediately. If I feel that your use of it does not represent me in a light that I wish to be viewed in, then I reserve the right to ask you to remove it from the Internet. I won't be offended or flip my shit, I will ask politely :)

I understand that some of you might want to use some of my stuff in glamor and / or fetish collages -- and as long as you do not edit me into embarrassing / demeaning positions and you are completely respectful about it -- then I might even think its cute. One never knows! Don't let the fact that I am a sweetheart make you think I'm a timid pushover. I can be a bitch if and when the need arises. Tee-hee. :) So please respect me and I am thrilled to respect you!

COACHING SESSIONS

I used to always flip flop back and fourth about how I feel about this one. There is this false stigma that if you sell coaching sessions, that this automatically makes you unapproachable as a human. A word to the wise: approach as a friend and you'll be treated like one. approach as a client and you'll be treated like one. A basic rule of thumb when dealing with entrepreneurs. We're human, too. How you interact with us will set the stage for how we interact with you.

I'm not really sure if I want to formalize paid sessions or anything like that at this point. Right now, what works better for me as this: don't approach me as a client at all, just approach me as a friend. If our personalities click, I'll assist you as best I can. If you're feeling generous enough to throw me some green appreciation, then cool. Otherwise -- don't feel guilty that you didn't pay me. One human bonding with another human doesn't require a service charge. We're all in this collective shift of humanity together, compassion is more important than money.